Dentist Joke

Dentist Jokes

The Marshes were shown into the dentist's surgery, where Mr Marsh makes it absolutely clear that he is in a big hurry.

'No expensive extras, Doctor', Marsh demands, 'No gas or needles or any of that fancy stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.'

'I wish more of my patients were as strong minded and as brave as you, Mr Marsh, 'said the dentist admiringly.  'Now, which tooth is it?'

Mr Marsh turns to his wife and says:

'Show him your tooth, honey.'If you like this Joke please

Another Dental Joke

Cosy Dental Service

Patient: How much will it cost me to have this tooth extracted?
Dentist: $300

Patient: $300 for just a few minutes work, that expensive.
Dentist: O.K. I'll pull it out slowly if you prefer.



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I need some space

I need some space

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The best motivator ever!

The best motivator ever!

Beware of crab mentality here. Just pure exercise!




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The Nuns and the D*ck

The Nuns and the D*ck

Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated. When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "My! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"

The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!"

Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out,"..and cold,too!"

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Top American Funny Images - Joke over war in Syria, Russia and Turkey

Top American Funny Images - Joke over war in Syria, Russia and Turkey

War Jokes

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Top American Funny Images - Gloria Gaynor

Top American Funny Images - Gloria Gaynor

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The Contractors Deal

Pinoy Contractor Abroad

Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence.One from the Philippines , another from Mexico and an American.

They go with a White House official to examine the fence.The American contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. Well,"
he says. "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."The Mexican contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Filipino contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."The official, incredulous, says, "What? You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure? How do you expect me to consider your service with that bid??"Easy," the Pinoy explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Mexico ".The next day, the Pinoy and the Mexican are working on the Fence.

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Wedding Ceremony turns to be laughing all day

.. how you can stop her? :)

At first the wedding ceremony looks so serious till the bride start to laugh at her groom.. watch to find out why.. very funny and cute!

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Robin Williams Joke

Robin Williams favorite joke

Guy's having sex with his wife. All of a sudden he looks over, and there in the doorway is his son, about eight years old. Kid looks horrified, and the kid runs away. The guy says to his wife, ''Well, I'd better talk to Timmy.''

He puts on his clothes and goes to Timmy's room. He opens the door , and there's Timmy nailing Grandma. The father goes ''Oh, my God!'' And the kid goes, ''Not so funny when it's your mom, is it?"

Have you watch Robin Williams Joke?

Watch here:

Check our previous joke:

Top 13 Barrack Obama One Liner Clean Jokes

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Top 13 Barrack Obama One Liner Clean Jokes

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a sinking ship, who would be saved?
A: America!

Q: What is the difference between Obama and Osama?
A: Just a little bs

Q: Why is ObamaCare like an apple a day?
A: It keeps the doctor away.

Q: What's the difference between Obama's GM bailout and a car battery?
A: The battery has a positive side.

Q: Why is Obama jealous of Hillary Clinton?
A: She the one with the cojones.

Q: What's the difference between Lincoln and Obama?
A: Lincoln suffered from major depression. Obama caused one.

Q: What does Obama's cat say?
A: Mao.

Q. What is Obama's favorite lunch meat?
A. Mao Tse Tongue.

Q: Why is the Obama economy a system of checks and balances?
A: He writes the checks, you pay the balances.

Q: What is a red flag to Obama's IRS?
A: Money in your bank account.

Q: What's the difference between the Reagan and Obama eras?
A: In the Reagan era we had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now we have no hope and no cash.

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Q: What did Obama say when he was told 3 Brazilians were killed in Afghanistan?
A: He asked Michelle "how many is in a brazillion?"

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A Letter of Ex-Husband

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

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What SEX can do to us?

 What SEX can do to us?

1. It makes some people religious: Oh God! Oh My God! Yes! God!

2. It gives some people their first musical lesson: mmmm...aaaahh...ooooh...aaahhh

3. Makes some people natural competitors: Ffaaast! Fasterrr! Yeah fasterrr!

4. It makes some people announce their own obituary: Ahh you are killing me! I'm dead! I'm finished! You'll kill me!

5. It makes some ladies become terrorists: Destroy it! Don't show any damn mercy! Just tear it apart! Don't do it with mercy! I am not your sister. Do it harderrr...HARDER!

6. Others become respectful: Give it to me please.. please ... mmm... please I'm begging

7. Some show sudden loyalty: I love you! You are my life! I'm yours forever! You are the best! Say whatever you want. Jack me any how and it's yours!

8. Makes some people become beggars: Yeah please don't stop! Please I beg in God's name give it to me!If you like this Joke please hit the like button or google plus it, we highly appreciate that :) Thanks!

American funny images - memes

Funny Teacher in the class

Superhero Differences

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Epic Funny Images

Epic Funny Images

I guess this images gives you a big laugh.

Grandma feels so hot in a thong

Granny Jokes

The difference of an adult to the teens

Sex Jokes

Daddy's Home!

Dad's Home Jokes

Momma Joke

Mom Text Jokes

Real Horror movie 

Chicken Horror Movie Jokes

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Perfect breasts

American short jokes: Perfect breasts

A man was walking down the street when he saw a woman with the perfect, and I mean PERFECT, breasts he'd ever seen.

He walked up to her and said, "Ma'am, you have perfect breasts, and I will pay you $100 to bite them." The woman was horrified and began to walk away.

The man caught her and said, "Alright, I'll pay you $1,000 to bite your breasts." Still horrified, the woman began to run away.

The man caught her again and said, "Fine. I'll pay you $10,000 to bite your breasts, and not a penny more." The woman then thinks that $10,000 will be worth it, so she finally agreed.

They went into a deserted alley away from the city action. The woman took off her shirt and bra, revealing the perfect breasts. The man then began to touch, squeeze, fondle, poke, and everything to the woman's breasts EXCEPT biting them.

The woman then said, "Well, are you gonna bite them or not?!"

The man replied, "Nah, too expensive."

Man's reaction when he won a contest! 

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At the Presidential Meeting joke

At the Presidential Meeting

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US

A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Barrack Obama...

The Instructor told Mori Prime Japan's Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say "how are you?". Them Mr. Obama should say, "I am fine, and you?" now, you should say  "me too". Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is....

When Mori met Obama, he mistakenly said "who are you?" (Instead of "how are you?")

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha ha ha.."

Then Mori replied "me too, ha ha ha..."

The was a long silence in the meeting room.

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The Whistle

An Apache guy, who had spent his whole life in the desert, goes to visit a friend who had moved to town. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.

While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.

BAM!!, he's hit by the train and tossed to the side of the tracks. It was only a glancing blow, so he was lucky enough to live through it with a few broken bones and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teapot whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teapot into an unrecognizable lump of metal.

His friend, hearing the noise, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the Apache guy, "Why'd you bust up my teapot?" The desert man replies, "Shii' kiis', you gotta kill these things when they're small."


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The Economist Plan

One day an economist died and was accidentally sent to hell. As we all know, all dogs and economists go to heaven, but in this instance old saint Peter was off his game and our economist joined all the rapists, murderers and forex traders in the underworld.

After a few weeks in hell the economist realises that it’s not such a bad place after all, it’s just chronically mismanaged. So he implements a plan. Within a few months the economy in hell is booming. He has the budget in surplus which enables the devil to spend on infrastructure, and investment funds start to flow in, increasing capital expenditures throughout the entire hellish economy.

After a year or two God looks down and notices that the standard of living in hell has increased to the point that most of his angels are booking their summer vacations there. The beaches are lovely, and face it, heaven is the last place you’re gonna find someone who can mix a decent cocktail.

He phones the devil to ask what’s going on. Satan explains that they have employed the services of an economist to fix their economy. God is not happy. "You know that all economists go to heaven" he yelled, "send him back immediately or we’re going to sue you"

The devil just laughed and replied, "As if! Where are you gonna get your hands on a lawyer?"

The Broker and the Trader

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced his altitude and saw a man below.
"Excuse me, but can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am," he said.

The man below replied: "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 ft above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees North latitude and between 56 and 57 degrees West longitude."

To which the balloonist replied:
"You must be a broker." To which the man on the ground said: "I am, but how did you know?"

The reply came from above: "Everything you told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The man below responded: "You must be a trader." To which the balloonist replied: "Yes, I am, but how did you know?"

To which the man on the ground said: "You don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to your current position due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

The windows

A woman customer called the Canon help desk because she had a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows ? 
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.  The man sitting next to me is by
a window, and his printer is working fine !