An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor
gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample
tomorrow."
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave
him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like
this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothin. Then I tried with my left
hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left,
still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her
teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and
she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried
squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"
The old man replied,
"Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open
